Saturday, February 25, 2006

The Place-Holder

The Placeholder is the man - or woman, but let us say a man for gender simplicity's sake - who must establish and maintain his position in any and all situations, including the best chair in the conference room, the "man" seat at the restaurant - this is the seat with the best view - the preferred seat on the airplane, and so on; each and every 'place' he deals with must be staked out, judged, and acquired. Woah to the one who would usurp the Placeholder's spot. Such insolence cannot be tolerated.

The Placeholder has several special chairs in his home, which must never be occupied by spouse or child or guest. Possibly in every room he has a spot reserved. The Placeholder may even have a preference for a particular area inside an elevator, or a stall position in a public restroom, for which which he is prepared to wait for any length of time. The Placeholder arrives early, even days before a dinner reservation, in order to note the desired table, and around it the one true seat. The Maitre'D will be informed. I would prefer that one, the Placeholder declares, leaving no other option open for consideration.

Other people might be interested in the same locations, but they will have to wait their turn, which may indeed be never. The Placeholder has already established his primacy by the simple effort he takes to get there first. One cannot argue with that. If you had had the ambition, you too could have reserved the very same spot, merely by arriving even earlier. The Placeholder considers it the law of the jungle. If one wants the spot, one takes the spot. What could be more fair?

Above all else, the Placeholder has exquisite taste in the places he reserves. No one can argue that they are not the primo locales. If they were not, he would not have selected them. Everyone nods in respect to the awesome choices the Placeholder makes, and says to themselves, now if I had only thought of that. The Placeholder notes this recognition, and finds himself completely satisfied, not only with his spot, but with the prestige that comes with having found and taken it, and from having witnessed the acknowledgment of his wisdom and his craft.

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