The Born Loser has no fear of failure. He embraces it. He lives for it. Behold the Magic of Failure. Were it not for mistakes, he advises, how would you ever get anything right? He has a point, we all agree, but why try to fail, why aim to lose? It's the way, he replies.
The way is gained by daily loss, loss upon loss until at last comes rest. Lao Tzu said this, very long ago. The Born Loser takes it to heart. Every day, to fail at something, he decides. This is my goal. But what can I lose today?
It's all right, he says, you can make the same mistakes over and over and they still count. It's all good, he declares.
You can forget everything your lovers tell you. That way it's always fresh when they repeat the same old stories.
When you've never been somewhere before, how do you expect to get there? It seems impossible! The Born Loser is convinced he will never arrive.
He prefers the questions that cannot have answers. What was there before The Beginning? Where is Everywhere? If God created everything, what created God? Or, tell me again why everything needs creating. He doesn't see the point.
A watched pot never boils, he's told. Never? He's alarmed.
He has plans for a business venture. There are certain to be no customers. He will not be able to afford the rent. The storefront will remain empty. Not a sign outside. Not an item within. "It's the new economy", he explains.
He is always in love. She never knows who he is. Literally. Safer that way, and guaranteed to fail. You gotta like those odds.
It's like riding a bicycle. Down a hill. Without any brakes. Right into a stone wall.
The Born Loser will tell you all his hopes and dreams, if you let him, but don't be discouraged. He hasn't got a chance. He can never win. It would spoil all the fun.