Monday, March 13, 2006

The Child Guider

The child-guider's child is very much like a tiny sailboat gliding on the shallow creek of life, requiring constant adjustments and corrections at every pebble, every twig, every bank and turn. "No", the child-guider says, "not this, but that." There is no obstacle that can be overcome by the child itself. There is no struggle that the child should experience for itself. There is no way but the child-guider way.

Should the child use his right-hand, it is better to develop the left. Should the child put one foot in front of the other, it had better be done in the proper sequence. The child should slide down the slide most correctly. Not this way, but that, the child-guider reminds.

The child is always wearing the wrong clothes, moving in the wrong direction, eating the wrong food, enjoying the wrong entertainment. Other parents are seemingly content to let their child make every mistake. This is not the child-guider way. Why make a mistake when the right way is so apparent?

The child-guider is not aware of the presence of others. His guidance is not for show. He does not need to prove his parent-worthiness. His concern is only for the child. This means there is no escape for the little one, no hope of even a momentary respite. The child is under continual supervision, and knows it.

The child-guider is always prepared with extra changes of clothes, bandaids, and bottles of water. He wears an emergency kit on his belt. The walkie-talkies he employs require only a range of several feet, for this is as far as the child is likely to get. The child-guider has modified the child's light-up shoes to light-up permanently on remote control. The child does not even need to jump up and down in the dark should the power go out. The child-guider has thought of everything.

The child-guider has found his magic, and regrets only that the child has to grow up so quickly. For this reason, the child-guider is often to be found residing in a large house with several children. Why not bestow his gift upon as many small ones as possible? The child-guider has contributed many an article on the subject to his local paper or bulletin board. The child-guider has also had much success in the art of training dogs.