The Perfectly Perfect

The Perfectly Perfect is never at a loss for words. She knows no talker's block. There is a right way and a wrong way and one must always prefer the right. One must perform each activity correctly. One must know in advance what to think and do and say. Preparation is the key to successful success.

One must prepare to prepare in the perfectly proper way - this usually involves candles, which themselves must be properly prepared, with a plate beneath for gathering wax and a window slightly cracked to permit the fumes to escape.

Properly prepared preparation is key to flawlessly executed execution. Executions must of course be flawless.

Seeing a sign, one must obey as rapidly as humanly possible. The Perfectly Perfect knows that the proper response to a yellow light is to stomp on the breaks at once.

Everyone should be more perfect. Is this not the goal of humanity? The function of education is to beat the rules into your head until you no longer think; you just know. You know you have been educated enough when you know everything that you need to know, and of course when you know what that is.

The Perfectly Perfect won't look. She has seen. Won't listen. She's heard. Won't feel. She has felt. Experience is too messy. One can learn everything one needs from a book.